Can I Quote You On That?

Okay, so I’m in the middle of trying to re-design my web site and I had a little slot of extra space. I decided it would be fun to include some quotes on writing in that spot. I found some really great ones, too.

But, the whole time I was gathering quotes from all these famous writers, I was thinking about my favorite quotes from a different set of famous authors; my friends from LDStorymakers. See, most of them have blogs that I pop in on every once in a while, but we also have an email group that keeps me from feeling too sorry for myself for living on the wrong side of the United States. I get to peek into their lives and careers every day. Though it’s not quite as good as being able to answer, “I’ll be there!” when the call goes out for, “Anybody want to go to lunch tomorrow?” (They’re all stinkers for having fun without me, let me tell you!)

It’s interesting what types of things can pop up when you start over 50 LDS authors chatting. I’ve included some of my favorite quotes for your enjoyment. To protect the . . . well, I don’t think you could really call any of us “innocent” per se . . . to protect their image as nice, normal, sane people I haven’t included any names. Let’s see if any of them recognize their words. ;)

• Writing to me is the freeing of my imagination and soul. When I give myself over to it the words pour out of me and it seems as if the words create pictures and stories in my mind that will tell a good story . . . In writing we allow those thoughts to grow and mature until someone, somewhere will be touched and their life enriched by the words you committed to the page.

• Writers are always asked why we write. I think people are creative by nature and we look for ways to express ourselves. For some people it's scrapbooking or sewing or gardening. For me, it's inventing characters and spending months obsessing over details of their imagined lives. Yeah, I know, it sounds sort of insane, but it's more fun than doing housework.

• Wanna hear something funny? On Meyer's My Space page, under her pictures, there's one of her standing in a bookstore, a closeup. Guess what's over her left shoulder? My book. She's trying to send me love hints. It's kinda cool. But she's not my type.

• I'm going on little sleep. A character of mine was so inconsiderate last night!

• I’ve been blogging so much . . . that I’m starting to suffer from itching, rash, bloody gums, and twitching eyes. I have no idea what that could mean.
  

• In honor of the [happy grammar] day, I will actually pay attention to my grammar check when it shoots those little green lines under my sentences, instead of arguing that sentence fragments are a stylistic choice and thus completely valid.

• We’d argue over every one of my semi colons. I got to keep most of them--including a few in dialogue. (Can you hear my victorious laugh?)

Discussion title:

• Need a cancer

On accurately describing dead bodies-

• My wife won't let me talk about this cool stuff anymore. . . .You get dead guy juice all over you.

Follow ups to describing dead bodies-

• I would never in this world have thought of that! Uh oh, now my mind’s going down the weirdest trails. Thanks a lot!

• If the dead guy was nine days gone, would they take the body to the hospital for ID, or would they take him to the morgue.....or the bait shop ;)

• Don't get me started (too late) because this only scratches the surface of my warped psyche.

• Anyone else would think I'm mental for actually saving this crazy discussion for future reference.

On a reality show about authors-

• They could film me sitting down to my computer, then my kids gathering around wanting their computer time. Or me sitting down to my computer and the phone ringing and it's a call I have to take. Or me sitting down to my computer only to hear screams and wails coming from the backyard. Or me sitting down to my computer and getting up quickly when I hear my 4 year-old and her friends squealing about the beautiful makeup they are painting with in my bathroom. Or me sitting down to my computer and looking out the window to see my daughter and her friend streaking down the street naked. Or me sitting down the computer and looking at the clock and realizing I was supposed to pick up my kids 5 minutes ago. Or me sitting down to my computer and my boys burst in yelling at each other and getting into a fistfight over the rules of some game they made up. Or me finally sitting down to the computer at 4:00 a.m. because I will finally be free of distractions, only to stare at the screen and realize that I can barely understand English, not to mention write any of it.

• Yeah, that would be a great show. . . . At least it would have nudity.

You know how they have those “good news” minutes in Relief Society where sisters share good news with each other at the beginning of the meeting? Do you suppose it would be okay for an author to share her good news for the week? Picture it:

Relief Society President: “Does anyone have any good news they would like to share?”
Sister A: “I’m going to be a grandma! My daughter-in-law is due in July!”
President: “Congratulations! Anyone else?”
Sister B: “My son just got his mission call! He’s going to Guatemala!”
Pres: “Wonderful! You must be so proud of him. Does anyone else have anything to share?”
Sister C: “I just made a huge breakthrough in my novel. I realized the book is too flat because it doesn’t have enough sources of tension and I need to give Jane some sinister motives of her own and a secondary evil plot to complement the main one. One murder just wasn’t enough for this book, but now that Jane is planning to do away with Sally, it’s all coming together. I’m SO excited!”
President: “Um . . . great.”

And my personal all-time favorite:

• The characters just took over. They don't let me do anything I want anymore. But I'm not going to talk to them about it. They scare me.

Thanks guys, you make my life so much more fun!