Confessions of Super Mom by Melanie Hauser

I have to tell you if I have a choice, I'm one of those people who would much rather skip Mother's day than acknowledge it. Now, I know that seems a little weird to some of you. I mean, it's the one day a year that many of us will actually hear a thank you and all that. But here's the thing, as far as I'm concerned Mother's day is another tool of Satan to make women feel bad.

If you are one of millions of women who are not mothers you feel bad, especially if you are one who desperately does want to be a mother but can be. If you are a mother you feel bad because no matter how it's played out Mother’s day can be just as bad for your self esteem as any fashion magazine or prime-time television show. It isn't about what is said or not said. It's about a woman's weird ability to take whatever is said and turn it into a negative. "See. I'm not like that so I'm obviously lacking as a mother."

Okay, maybe I'm just weird but that's what happens for me. I'm okay with sitting through the Primary kids singing while picking their noses, that's normal motherhood. But then somebody (ies) inevitably starts extolling all the virtues of their particular mother or mothers in general and I start a mental check list. "Nope I don't do that, nope I don't do that, nope I don't do that either."

I have yet to hear anyone celebrate the kind of mother I am. No, I don't think anyone would say I don't love my children or call protective services but I definitely do not reek of motherly virtues either. I don't cook. I don't clean. I don't run my kids to endless activities or cheer at all their games. I'm not totally supportive of everything they do. The list could go on and on. In fact I've decided my one motherhood claim-to-fame is the fact that my children can read me to sleep. No, not the other way around. My children take great pride in the fact that they can read me a bedtime story and I'll snuggle right down and go to sleep. I’m such a good mommy. :)

Why am I telling you all of this? So you'll understand where I'm coming from with my book pick for Mother's day. Of all the wonderful books put out by LDS and national publishers each year extolling the virtues of motherhood I wouldn't recommend a one to you. (Well, okay, maybe Confessions of a Completely Insane Mother.) Why? Because if you're anything like me you don't need something else to feel bad about on the one day that is supposed to make you feel good.

So, here's my recommendation. This Mother's day, skip church and curl up in bed with a large bowl of chocolate and Confessions of Super Mom by Melanie Lynne Hauser.

Super Mom is just about the most fun a person can have pointing out all the stereotypical characteristics of a mother. After a freak accident involving her Swiffer, Birdie Lee becomes a superhero to rival those in her son’s comic books. A typical single mother is suddenly transformed into a super cleaning, organizing, cooking, budgeting, and lecture-delivering super hero with an über mother's instinct not to be messed with.

There are a few pages that you'll have to cover your eyes for-- when Super Mom discovers that even moms are entitled to a love life. She's actually a little aghast at the fact that she could possibly even think about sex when she's supposed to be saving the world's children . . . Those few pages are very tame by a national standard, but they are still there.

So, go ahead grab a copy and snuggle down. I for one will spend the day with the sequel: Super Mom Saves the World. When your visiting teachers show up to hand you your already wilting Mother's day plant, and ask why you weren't at church Sunday, smile and hand them a copy of Confessions of Super Mom in return. With any luck it will get you released from some ward calling that requires you to be an upstanding example of motherhood.

Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

You may remember that I did a blog on Tuesdays with Morrie a while back. This past week I got a chance to read another book along the same lines, The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch with Jeffrey Zaslow.

If you’ve not heard of Randy and his famous last lecture at Carnegie Mellon, you can find it on the links from The Last Lecture website.

Randy delivered the live version of The Last Lecture a month after getting final confirmation that he had only 6 months of good health left before his life would finally be consumed by the pancreatic cancer that was eating away at his body. I would have been tempted to pull the covers over my head, not address an audience of 400 people, but that’s exactly what Randy decided he needed to do.

The resulting lecture “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams” had very little to do with cancer and death; rather it had a lot to do with how to live your life. It’s an interesting exercise in assessing whether the things you say matter the most, really do matter to you. It’s a hard lesson, but The Last Lecture gives you a chance to see if you are living with integrity. Meaning: are you living a life that is true to who you are and where you want to be. It’s a very stark reminder that you can only look forward to so many “tomorrows” no matter who you are.

This book does differ from Tuesdays with Morrie, in that Morrie was an older gentlemen, Randy was relatively young. Their insights and motives for having the books published are a little different, too. But the basic messages remain looking into the best ways to live your life from a perspective of one whose course on earth is almost over. Morrie addresses this through the need to find and cultivate love. Randy does this through finding and cultivating your dreams.

There were times when Randy was a little hard to relate to—He’s done a lot of amazing things in his short life time and I’m just a wimpy little housewife. I sometimes found myself with the impression that Randy had already packed so much living into his days that it really was okay for him to leave, despite the fact that he had three young children and a beautiful wife. If I died tomorrow I think my eulogy would be far different from Randy’s. Probably something about only burning dinner 1 out of 6 times. (Never mind I only cook dinner a couple of times a week.)

I’ve only achieved two of my childhood dreams but they definitely didn’t turn out the way I dreamed them. I became a published author, but sadly I publish in a genre that is only of use to maybe 1 in 25 members of a small subculture and probably only ever read by 1 in 100 of those who might appreciate it. I’m published, but I’m a very small fish. I also always wanted to be a mother. But my children have yet to rise up and call me blessed. My teenager did tell me I was wonderful the other day, but I suspect that was because she wanted me to go to the store to buy her a bottle of shampoo.

Randy, on the other hand, had great personal achievements and public contributions. Every one of them was based on an enthusiasm for what he was doing. I found myself feeling very inadequate at times; though I’m sure that wasn’t the message Randy wanted the reader to take away from his book.

Awesome achievements aside, I most appreciated his overall messages, like: people are more important than things. That was something I could certainly hang on to and pay a little more attention to as I’m being unappreciated in my own mediocrity. The Last Lecture is certainly a worthwhile read. If you’re looking for a quick but poignant read for a Sunday afternoon of reflection, The Last Lecture would certainly fit the bill.

Sadly, Randy lost his battle to pancreatic cancer on July 25th, 2008,

Return to the Neighborhood.

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Something Fun

Last night my daughter and I listened to the first chapter of Matthew Buckley's new podcast story. The target audience is middle-grade readers, but even if you just love listening to a good story it's worth checking out.

In other news, my friends Tristi Pinkston and J. Scott Savage are going on blog tours soon. I'm too lazy to jump on board (I'd have to ask them questions and everything!) but I bet they'll have a ton of fun and have some interesting things to say. See if you can chase them down as they tour through cyberspace!

Oh yeah, and that weird James Dasher dude just had his new book named Mary K Huntsman book of the month for April, which is awesome but bound to go to his head.

Lastly, I'm totally jealous of Tamara Norton who managed to get her hands on an ARC of the sequel to Wildwood Dancing.

I'm sure I'm missing a bunch of other cool stuff- aren't my friends neat? But that's all I can think of on a Monday morning.

Ok, it's time to go back to my regularly scheduled boring life. Sigh.