Dancing When Somebody's Watching

I’ve been thinking about what to write here for a while. Nothing has seemed quite right, so I’ve been in a bit of a quandary. But I realized something today. I’m once again procrastinating doing what I love because of my own self doubts. I’m not gaining the exhilaration that comes when I’m creating something that excites me because I’m spending all of my time worry about whether or not what I want to write will be interesting. Odds are if I’m thinking about it this much, it won’t be.

That’s the interesting thing about me, and probably most writers. I have two minds and a large assortment of voices in my head. If I always listen to the one that wants me to be perfect, witty, inspiring and interesting all the time, I’d never write at all. The reason I do write is because I appreciate these things in the world around me. I count on that love to be conveyed in what I write, when I’m being critical I’m not feeling that joy, why should anyone else feel it?

That worrying, critical voice is the one I need to turn off if I expect to begin. I need to give myself permission to just be myself, to see and feel what makes me happiest and then express that. Once I begin, the critical voices begin to quiet as they watch the creative voices set to work. The more they work, the more there is to work from.

Sometimes you just need to give yourself permission to play with the reckless abandonment of youth. You need to dance in spite of the fact that someone may be looking. Then the dance, or the story, will be beautiful and fulfilling.