Why Books Matter To Me

A few days ago my husband looked over at me as we were preparing for bed and declared, “I’ve figured out what the difference is between you and me.”

I’m thinking. Hmmm, took you long enough. But I politely inquired what he was talking about anyway. Apparently, he’d just figured out what the main difference is in the way he and I feel about books.

We both love to read, so that wasn’t it. But, we have very different reading styles. I’ll tell you about his conclusions in a minute. First, let me set the stage. I was laying there with a book open in front of me, a couple of books on my chest, another on the floor where I’d discarded it when finished. There was an additional stack of books on the nightstand peeking out from under the cold medicine I’d had to pull out the night before for a sick child, my water bottle, the cup of tea I was sipping on, a bag of cough drops, my sweats and fuzzy socks I pull on in the morning to take my teenager to seminary, and a bunch of other miscellaneous things. He, on the other hand, had just gone over to the bookshelf in our room, taken down one hard back, carefully removed the dust cover and set it aside before joining me in bed to read.

Think you’ve got it figured out yet? If you’re thinking I’m a perpetual slob and he’s Mr. anal retentive you’d be right, but that’s not it.

Here’s another hint. He re-reads. Though my husband reads as much as he can, the number of new titles he’s read since we married many years ago is probably less than a dozen. Maybe two. Definitely not much more than that. Most of those have probably been at my insistence. He has his favorite authors and books by those authors. That’s it.

The number of books currently on my list to read the first time around is 648 (I constantly update an excel file on my computer). My library record shows I currently have 43 items checked out. (Okay, about half of that is material for my children as well- still.)

Okay, we’ve added another piece to the puzzle: I’m a flake with ADHD tendencies, he’s a collector. He keeps books that are near and dear to him. We’d go bankrupt if I purchased every book that caught my fancy.

Are you ready for his answer yet? My husband declares our basic difference lies in what we value. We both value reading, but:
He values the actual book.
I value the experience I have inside its pages more than the actual book.

This is evidenced in the way we read the scriptures as well. My husband’s scriptures are in almost pristine condition, the only markings are the scripture masteries from his high school days, carefully color coded, etc. I’ve gone through several sets to his one. My seminary scriptures are actually in several pieces, some of those pieces are even missing (gasp!). I have colorings and markings everywhere. He once asked me why I colored a particular verse. I had no idea. I guess at some point in time it was exactly what I needed. . .

I read while I eat. I toss books in my purse. I pile them in precarious stacks around my house. My husband lovingly catalogs his books. There are several titles that he has a “shelf” copy and a “reading” copy of so he doesn’t mess up the good one. He’s careful with his books. I lone them out precariously. We are very different when it comes to books, but we hope the message we send to our children is the same: Books matter.

Yes, there are actual books that I value. These sit on a separate shelf in my living room. Why do I value them? Because they are my friends—very literally. They’re written in by my friends. My most prized collection of books have signatures and notes from the people that have written them. I don’t stand in line to get Mr. or Mrs. New York Times Best Seller’s signature in my books-- who cares. I stand in line to get my friend’s signatures because I love what they have accomplished and I love them.

So, there you have it. More than you ever wanted to know about my marriage and some tidbits about the different ways people express their appreciation for things they value. What is it about books that you value? How is this value expressed? If you were to ask a loved one if you like to read, why, or how you read what would they observe about you and the written word?

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Blessed Are the Children: The Miracle and Beauty of Childhood

This past week I chose a sort of picture book for my quiet reading time on Sunday afternoon. I picked up Blessed Are the Children: The Miracle and Beauty of Childhood. This is a beautiful coffee table book that captures your heart from the cover image and holds you within the spirit of its message until the last page.

It was a beautifully peaceful way to spend the afternoon. This is, as long as I was able to tune out my own brood of sweeties who were trying very hard to prove that they are in fact not sweeties. Sigh. Life is often very different from what we find in a book, isn’t it? I guess that’s why this particular book is important to me. It’s a gentle reminder that some moments, thoughts, and goals matter; others simply don’t matter as much as my very human mind would like to fixate on them.

The tone for Blessed Are the Children is set with the very first page. It quotes Gordon B. Hinckley as follows:

“Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these little ones. Now, love them, take care of them. . . . welcome them into your homes and nurture and love them with all of your hearts.”

The illustrations are beautiful. The collection includes contributions by Simon Dewey, Greg Olsen, Robert Duncan, and Jean Monti, to name a few.

Each page contains poignant quotes from general authorities, presidents, poets, and philosophers—many of the greatest names of our time. They are quick, beautiful, and inspirational reads for any time you can steal a few moments. The quotes are given in a progressive or thematic order, but you can simply open up the book and wait for an image to capture your attention, then pause to read the thoughts on the same pages.

To give you a taste for the thoughts in store as you study and contemplate Blessed Are the Children, here are two more of my favorite quotes from its pages.

“When God wants a great work done in the world or a great wrong righted, he goes about it in a very unusual way.

He doesn’t stir up his earthquakes or send forth his thunderbolts. Instead, he has a helpless baby born, perhaps in a simple home of some obscure mother. And then God puts the idea into the mother’s heart, and she puts it into the baby’s mind. And then God waits. The greatest forces in the world are not the earthquakes and the thunderbolts.

The greatest forces in the world are babies.” E. T. Sullivan

“Grown men can learn from very little children, for the hearts of little children are pure. Therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older people miss.” Black Elk

This is a book that belongs on the shelf of every mother and grandmother. It’s a sweet reminder of the goodness and purity of children especially on the days when they’ve vexed us beyond sanity. I’d suggest it as a gift for your next baby shower. That and the package of baby diapers just might save a young mother’s heart and sanity on a day when she’d rather just toss up her hands in frustration.

Thank you Blessed Are the Children for the gentle encouragement and inspiration. We can all use a few more reminders that children are the most precious gift we are given in this life. Think how boring things would be without them!

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Servant to a King by Sariah S. Wilson

Well, here we go. I’ve found a totally fun new LDS novel. Servant to a King by Sariah S. Wilson was just about the best book I’ve read in a while. I devoured it quickly and completely enjoyed the ride! It was fun, fast paced, and entertaining.

Do you remember the beginning of Ammon’s story with King Lamoni? That’s the part where Ammon is captured and vows to become King Lamoni’s servant despite the offer of marrying the king’s daughter instead? Very noble and righteous to be sure, but have you ever wondered what the daughter thought of this whole arrangement? I mean, really. What would you do if your father tried to hand you over to a complete stranger (and foreigner from enemy territory at that) and then you were rejected by that same strange? Ouch. Here’s where Sariah creates a totally lovable heroine for Ammon’s story, despite her sometimes too obvious boundary issues. Meet Isabel, who is the oldest daughter of King Lamoni. She also sees it as her personal mission to make Ammon’s life as miserable as possible—let the games begin!

You do get to experience the Book of Mormon culture and learn a little bit more about life for those we read about in the scriptures. That’s always a nice added benefit of well-done historical fiction. I totally loved that Isabel had worry dolls. I had a set of those things for years. They were awesome! There were a few times, however, where things of the ancient Lamanite world were explained more in 21^st century terms, rather than in terms of things Ammon could relate to. I took me momentarily out of the story but it was totally forgivable and I couldn’t help but jump right back in to the page after a very short, “huh?” moment every now and then.

My only other complaint about Servant to a King is the name. The cover gave me a hint that I could expect a fun book rather than a serious exploration of the scriptures. (Don’t get me wrong, the story is accurate and insightful it just entertains as much as it educates.) But the name did nothing to encourage me toward the book’s purchase. I could glance at the cover and say, “Okay, we’re probably talking Book of Mormon”. The back cover would help me get it a little bit more, but if I were faced with just the spine of the book the title would not have shouted out to me that this was a “must read”. It deserves more attention that the name suggested it might get on a bookshelf.

Do me a favor. If you’re wandering in a bookstore and notice this title peaking out of the stacks, take it out and turn it so everybody can see the cover as they walk by. Somebody with thank you for it, I’m sure. Oh, and if you haven’t read it yet yourself, you do have my permission to pick up the book and head straight to the cash register yourself. It’s definitely one you won’t regret spending the money on.

Though not her only published work, Servant to a King is the first novel I’ve read by Sariah Wilson. You can bet I’ll be watching her career with interest from now on. Super job, Sariah!

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The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

You may remember that I did a blog on Tuesdays with Morrie a while back. This past week I got a chance to read another book along the same lines, The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch with Jeffrey Zaslow.

If you’ve not heard of Randy and his famous last lecture at Carnegie Mellon, you can find it on the links from The Last Lecture website.

Randy delivered the live version of The Last Lecture a month after getting final confirmation that he had only 6 months of good health left before his life would finally be consumed by the pancreatic cancer that was eating away at his body. I would have been tempted to pull the covers over my head, not address an audience of 400 people, but that’s exactly what Randy decided he needed to do.

The resulting lecture “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams” had very little to do with cancer and death; rather it had a lot to do with how to live your life. It’s an interesting exercise in assessing whether the things you say matter the most, really do matter to you. It’s a hard lesson, but The Last Lecture gives you a chance to see if you are living with integrity. Meaning: are you living a life that is true to who you are and where you want to be. It’s a very stark reminder that you can only look forward to so many “tomorrows” no matter who you are.

This book does differ from Tuesdays with Morrie, in that Morrie was an older gentlemen, Randy was relatively young. Their insights and motives for having the books published are a little different, too. But the basic messages remain looking into the best ways to live your life from a perspective of one whose course on earth is almost over. Morrie addresses this through the need to find and cultivate love. Randy does this through finding and cultivating your dreams.

There were times when Randy was a little hard to relate to—He’s done a lot of amazing things in his short life time and I’m just a wimpy little housewife. I sometimes found myself with the impression that Randy had already packed so much living into his days that it really was okay for him to leave, despite the fact that he had three young children and a beautiful wife. If I died tomorrow I think my eulogy would be far different from Randy’s. Probably something about only burning dinner 1 out of 6 times. (Never mind I only cook dinner a couple of times a week.)

I’ve only achieved two of my childhood dreams but they definitely didn’t turn out the way I dreamed them. I became a published author, but sadly I publish in a genre that is only of use to maybe 1 in 25 members of a small subculture and probably only ever read by 1 in 100 of those who might appreciate it. I’m published, but I’m a very small fish. I also always wanted to be a mother. But my children have yet to rise up and call me blessed. My teenager did tell me I was wonderful the other day, but I suspect that was because she wanted me to go to the store to buy her a bottle of shampoo.

Randy, on the other hand, had great personal achievements and public contributions. Every one of them was based on an enthusiasm for what he was doing. I found myself feeling very inadequate at times; though I’m sure that wasn’t the message Randy wanted the reader to take away from his book.

Awesome achievements aside, I most appreciated his overall messages, like: people are more important than things. That was something I could certainly hang on to and pay a little more attention to as I’m being unappreciated in my own mediocrity. The Last Lecture is certainly a worthwhile read. If you’re looking for a quick but poignant read for a Sunday afternoon of reflection, The Last Lecture would certainly fit the bill.

Sadly, Randy lost his battle to pancreatic cancer on July 25th, 2008,

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Fields of Home by Rachel Ann Nunes

Rachel Ann Nunes is one of the pioneers in LDS Fiction, she is a compelling storyteller with more than 25 published titles. I respect her talent and success. She’s a wonderful person and a driven professional that sets the standard for many of us as we reach for our goals and dreams. Still, most of us realize there can be only one Rachel—she’s awesome.

Recently, Rachel had begun to branch out from specifically LDS themes. She is adding a more generalized nature to her writing in order to expand her reading audience to a national level rather than the much smaller LDS niche market. Though these books may not specifically call out a religion specifically, there is still an undercurrent of the “good people trying to do the right thing” theme.

I recently read one of these titles, Fields of Home.

Fields of Home by Rachel Ann Nunes deals with the long-term consequences of having a child out of wedlock. The main character, Mercedes, has found a good life for herself after a hurtful and abusive childhood the culminated with her becoming pregnant and consequently abandoned by the father of the child. She marries another man who has been quietly watching out for her welfare for most of her formative years and they have a good life together.

Enter the old lover who has just learned of the pregnancy that resulted from their time together and the subsequent child who is now almost 12. Since he is unable to have children of his own, the birth father is now determined to assert his rights and claim a place in the child’s life, if not Mercedes’ life as well.

It’s amazing how much our past can still taint our future, even when we have repented and done the best we can to move forward. Rachel’s novel brings up some interesting questions and dilemmas regarding Mercedes’ problems, but it is still one of Rachel’s signature romance novels at heart. If you are looking for a good story with a hint of matters of the heart tossed in Fields of Home fits the bill. It’s also a story for the country girl in you.

However, while the story was griping, I don’t think Fields of Home is destined to become one of my favorite titles. I think it’s because of the characters themselves. I couldn’t relate to them. Their quirks, faults, thoughts and emotions felt, hmmm, maybe the word I’m looking for is extreme, in nature to me. The situations were realistic and plausible, but I never felt completely compelled by the characters. It was odd. I expected to be engaged, I wanted to see how the story would unfold, but I just kept getting pulled back out thinking, “Um, get real,” when the characters were emoting. Mercedes seemed too weak to me, still too insecure in who she was even though she time and time again said she was beyond her childhood issues. The father of the child was a highly intelligent man yet still felt that he could swoop in and take away the boy just on the shear fact that he was rich and accomplished and the mother lived on a farm.

I also had a hard time with all the flashbacks and back story that got thrown in. The reader spent as much time in the past as the present and I prefer to deal with one time frame only.

Then again, maybe I can chalk the whole experience up to being hormonal and too “extreme” myself. I was having a few off days when I picked up Fields of Home looking for a good escape. I didn’t find the escape I was looking for. I could get caught up in the story for a few minutes, but it was easily put down again as well. Sigh.

If you’ve read Fields of Home, please share your thoughts. I do think the story was worthwhile. It just didn’t’ seem to be my kind of story, if that makes sense.

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Simplify by Carolyn J. Rasmus

Here’s a refreshing view on getting you life together. I’ve read tons of books on organizing and simplifying my life, both general and from an LDS perspective; but, Simplify: A guide to Caring for the Soul by Carolyn J. Rasmus is the first I’ve read and enjoyed that actually looked at life from this view point.

Basically, Carolyn Rasmus takes the approach that all things should focus on the care and keeping of the soul: if we focus our “simplification” efforts on our spirit first, other areas will fall in place when we’re paying attention to what our spirit really needs. It’s down to earth, practical, and doesn’t mention storage buckets, color coordinating your linen closet, or organizing your food storage any where. This book focuses on the word simplify itself—turning it into an acronym for “a guide to caring for the soul”.

Here are the chapter titles as they outline the acronym:

Stillness

Integrity

Mercy

Prune

Let go

Impossible

Fortify

You

Not the types of things you expected to see in an organization book, is it? Well, maybe a little, but Ms. Rasmus’ approach is not harsh, unrealistic, or preachy. She clearly lets you see her own short-comings. (I, personally, am glad I’m not the only one who has yelled at the answering machine because the requests it has recorded are beyond my human capacities.) But she also fills your heart with inspiration and encouragement for becoming the type of person our Father in Heaven intended each of us to be. Simplify asks you to look at your life in terms of what really matters first, then put everything in order according to the priorities you and God have created together.

Simplify takes a serious look at how our personal spirituality affects all aspects of our lives and tries to identify the “most needful things” that Christ has asked us to focus on as we try to become like Him. It could seem very overwhelming in nature, but I didn’t find it as such. Ms. Rasmus fills Simplify with personal examples, scriptures, and quotes that leave you in quiet thought not discouragement. In fact, she pleads with the reader not to see her words as “one more thing” on a never ending to-do list for perfection. She means it for an as-needed guide to simplicity that will lead us to open our hearts and minds to the promptings of the Spirit so that the Lord can guide us in pruning and letting go of all the extra stuff that has found a place in our lives but not necessarily in our heart of hearts.

She also gives very doable suggestions for ways to get started with the messages presented in each chapter. They are not insurmountable; most of them require us to take a few moments and a quiet spot to think about the direction of our life, looking for small course alterations that are within our reach. This constant reminder for a little peaceful introspection is worth the price of the book. It’s what Simplify is all about: letting in the Spirit and the peace He brings and letting go of whatever else we can.

I found many messages I could take to heart, and I’ll be anxious to see what effect they can create on my own life.

Considering the spirit I felt while I was reading it, I know there is much that was meant for me. Perhaps it contains things you need as well. Give it a shot the next time you’re looking for help and encouragement to simplify your life.

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Before You Leap by Kermit the Frog

Okay. This has got to be one of the most fun “self-help” books I’ve ever read. Do you remember watching the Muppet Show growing up? It was one of my favorite things. Of course I wasn’t allowed to watch much television so I may have been very disillusioned as to what was great entertainment. I doubt it though. It was definitely more fun than most things that pass as comedy and family fun these days. Any way you look at it Kermit and the gang had something special. (I say had because I like the old Sesame Street etc. better than the newer more politically correct version. But that’s just me.)

If you’re a big fan of Kermit, or the Muppets in general, this book is a must read. Before You Leap: A Frog's Eye View of Life's Greatest Lessons by Kermit the Frog is a fun book that tickles the edges of life with humor and a little bit of actual advice thrown in.

Kermit separates his book into sections: one acts as a memoir of his life, the other goes through most of the common problems and concerns of anyone trying find their way through this world without losing their sanity. Well, then again . . . Anyway, Kermit uses his own life, and the experiences of all his Muppet friends, to give you some pointers on life, love, money, friends, health, you name it. A lot of it is written in true Muppet form. Meaning it makes you giggle more than it makes you think. But even with its light take on things, it carries some great messages.

I loved the chapter entitled “The Seven Dreams of Highly Effective Amphibians”. Kermit shares his philosophy on setting goals and allowing yourself to dream even when others around you can’t or won’t share those dreams. Interestingly enough, what do you think the first dream step is? Answering the basic questions of Who Am I? Where Am I? and How Did I Get Here? Sound familiar? He looks at this from both a literal and dreamy point of view. Both are worthwhile as you move forward to become a highly effective amphibian. This includes the following quote: “When you decide what your Big Dream is, you’ll be bursting with enthusiasm and want to share it with everybody. Most everybody will give you one of those ‘Okay, that’s nice, now please pass the ketchup’ looks. Some will scoff, suggesting that whatever your Big Dream is, it’s too big for you. And a select few will whisper words of encouragement.

My Advice is this: Pass the ketchup. Ignore the scoffers. And remember those words of encouragement ‘cause they’re the only ones that matter.”

Ah, yes. Kermit is a very wise frog. Some of my favorite advice from different characters also included:

Ms. Piggy- If you don’t fit in with the in crowd, form your own in crowd. (Of course she suggested that it be an in crowd of one. . . )

Ms. Piggy also said- Success is believing in yourself, then convincing everyone else you’re right.

Kermit- Be good to yourself, believe in yourself, and you’ll always be beautiful. (Even if you’re not a frog.)

Dr. Honeydew- Bad things often happen by accident, but even bad things can have good outcomes. (Just ask Beaker—who, incidentally I was convinced looked exactly like a certain director or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, but that’s another story.)

Swedish Chef- Taste the smorgasboord oof life! You betcha! (I just love his accent ;)

Got a son or daughter about to leave the lily pad? This would make a great gift. It lets them know you care without preaching—that’s always a good thing. Before You Leap was great fun for me and a wonderful trip down memory lane. I recommend it for any Muppet’s fan young or old.

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Before the Dawn by Dean Hughes

Before the Dawn by Dean Hughes offers a great mix of entertainment for the LDS reader. Dean Hughes is somewhat of a legend in LDS author circles. He’s a man I admire. In fact, I had a copy of Under the Same Stars, his first LDS novel (which was in fact the first LDS novel, but that’s another story) as a girl. So, I was excited to get my hands on Before the Dawn, and I wasn’t disappointed by what I found inside its cover.

Leah is a crusty and no-nonsense woman who has pretty much carried the world on her shoulders for most of her adult life. She’s not exactly active in the church and doesn’t hold many of the women in the Relief Society in any type of regard, much less high regard. So when the bishop shows up and tells her the Lord is insisting that she be the new Relief Society president Leah has a few things to say about it. Mainly: There is no way on earth I could do or even want this job. (Oh, for the strength of will to be able to voice my own frustrations at difficult callings so well . . . :}) Still, when it’s all said and done, she is convinced by the Spirit despite her better judgment. She then proceeds to offend half the Relief Society and set the other half straight in a good way. It was a great and challenging journey to take with Leah.

There were sections of the story that were choppy-- the flow and timing was abrupt, as if there were sections that had been edited out, but not adjusted for in the writing. It would take me a few second to jump back into the story, but I did because I had fallen completely in love with Leah. She was well-mastered and whole, she was a person to me that I would have loved to know. Leah probably would have put me into tears a few times, but I would have admired her beyond words.

Before the Dawn is set during the Depression, making the story very timely for our weird world of worry and uncertainty. It made me even more grateful for the blessings I have that often go over looked. It also made me take a keener look at how well I’m prepared to deal with all the problems life can throw at you when you least expect it. I got an in depth look at the history, the people, and the workings of the church during this difficult time through the eyes of a single mother who was doing the best she could to make it through each new day.

It also made me want to be a better person. That’s one of the key things I look for in a work of fiction. I want a good story that is well told with characters I can relate to. I want to feel good about the things I read, even have fun with them. And, I want to feel I’ve become a better person in some way for my time spent within the pages. Before the Dawn really fit the bill for me. It was time well spent and I’ve found a new hero in Leah.

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